


if it wasn't for you

by septiplierhink



Series: streetcar writing [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Middle School AU, as usual, but it's kinda sad, but its cute, i'm emo okay this is kinda heartbreaking, markson + yugbam double date, they're hella awkward, youngjae is basically sunshine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-28 22:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/septiplierhink/pseuds/septiplierhink
Summary: yugyeom and kunpimook are middle school students in love and they ride the subway together at midnight. yugyeom struggles with being in love with his best friend and kunpimook is cold.





	1. whimpers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay stuff you should probably know before reading this  
> -terminal 21 is a really cool mall in bangkok  
> -swensens is a really cool ice cream place in terminal 21  
> -i haven't been to thailand for a couple years my memory of the subway is minimal
> 
> also, this was gonna be fluffy, then i started listening to stay with me by jay park and it got real sad real fast. the title's from that song by the way! enjoy!

The Bangkok subway system wasn't the most clean, most sensible or best subway system in the world. It was fast, sure, but it was crowded most of the time, and sweaty and uncomfortable. Full of either tourists or school kids, it was constantly being used. There were peaks and other times when the trains had barely any passengers.

Today, or rather tonight, the only occupants of this subway car, where two middle school students. One, a good student, excelling in dance and math. The other, a strangler, a good boy, but with a short attention span. Though he has the ambition and smarts to learn, he was constantly distracted. They were friends though. Both fairly quiet people. Bonded over fashion and the arts, they were an inseparable pair.

It was late, maybe midnight or later. Yugyeom, the dancer of the two, had a show that night. A little freestyle, a little choreography, it was a small show, but nonetheless, he'd invited Kunpimook, the other boy, to see the performance. They were best friends after all.

The show was tiring, the little dance studio filled with friends and guests to see the small performance. Yugyeom was exhausted by the time the boys had arrived at the subway station. It was empty, as they'd expected. It was quiet aside from the brushing on clothing as the students waited patiently for the train.

It was cold when the train eventually pulled into the station, a gust of cool air rushing in the corridor as the subway arrived. Kunpimook, only dressed in skinny jeans and a baseball tee, huddled his body against Yugyeom's as the cold wind surrounded them. Yugyeom jumped at the touch, quickly wrapping his arms around his shivering friend as the train rushed into the station.

Once the subway had stopped, Kunpimook realized the awkward position he and Yugyeom, his "just friend", we're in. He swiftly removed himself from Yugyeom's grasp. Brushing off his shirt awkwardly as the boys entered the train.

They both looked around the car, realizing they were the only ones in it. Immediately, Kunpimook ran to the front of the car, swinging around a poll with a squeal. He looked back to see Yugyeom still standing near the doors, sleep laced in his eyes. Kunpimook strode over to him, pulling him further into the train.

"C'mon, Gyeom! We have the whole train to ourselves" Kunpimook called out, not caring how loud he was, given that no one else was on the train.

Yugyeom groaned, tired and achey from his show. He pressed a hand against his back, pushing down on a cramp that'd formed after he's done a move wrong. He followed his friend further into the car, leaning against a pole as Kunpimook darted from seat to seat. He looked at the boy with kind eyes, examining him up and down as he flung himself around the train. He wasn't _checking him out_ , no, that'd be weird... and gay... and he wasn't out, it'd be weird, and... inappropriate, right?

Yugyeom _knew_ how he felt about boys, and he _knew_ how he felt about Kunpimook. But Kunpimook was a boy, he was nice, he was sweet, he was fun and loud and lovely... and Yugyeom loved him. He'd known for a while, and now tonight, at midnight, on the subway, he loved his best friend.

The subway stopped suddenly as it approached the next stop. Yugyeom jolted out of whatever zoned out trance he was in as the train leaned and slid to a stop. He jumped forward, holding onto Kunpimook's hand as he train began to move again. Once they'd left the station, Yugyeom pulled him back near two seats at the back of the car.

They sat down, Kunpimook grudgingly keeping still, noticing how worn out his friend was. The two of them rode the train in silence until Kunpimook eventually piped up a conversation.

"Do you wanna go to Terminal 21 next week?" He asked, looking over at the other boy.

"Just you and me?"

"Uh yeah," Kunpimook stuttered "I mean, I could invite some other people if you want..."

"No, no, it's nice with just the two of us" Yugyeom smiled lightly, voice mixing with the sounds of the subway "Next week?"

"Yep, I thought we could go after school on Tuesday"

"I think Tuesday's good with me" Yugyeom scanned his mental calendar for any upcoming events.

"Cool, Gyeommie, it'll be fun I swear"

"You still owe me some Swensens though" Yugyeom reminded him, ice cream was a big deal between these two.

"Yeah yeah, but only if you split it with me"

"You thief!" Yugyeom pushed Kunpimook lightly, laughing for mere seconds before the boys quieted down.

The subway was once again filled with silence. Just breathing and the screeching of the train on tracks. With the rhythmic echoes of the train's wheels, Kunpimook lulled his head against Yugyeom's shoulder, closing his eyes gently as he began to drift off.

As soon as Kunpimook's head made contact with Yugyeom's shoulder, the taller boy jumped, not disturbing his friend, but internally screaming as Kunpimook settled his head on his shoulder. Yugyeom wondered if it was a mistake at first. If he'd meant to look out the window and stopped half way, or if he'd forgetton Yugyeom was next to him. But after a minute, Yugyeom quietly accepted the fact that Kunpimook had indeed dozed off into his shoulder.

He moved slightly to wrap an arms around Kunpimook. He slung an arm around his body, pulling the Thai boy closer to himself. He looked down at him. He was short and lovely. He was small and cuddly. He was everything Yugyeom thought he wanted. But he was in middle school, and coming out now would be outrageous, right? And Kunpimook was straight as a board, right? He couldn't tell him, he couldn't tell anyone. And now, he was going to the mall with Kunpimook. It was going to be a freaking date. They were going to get ice cream, and shop and probably play in the arcade, maybe even catch a movie.

It was painful for Yugyeom to do that honestly. To be so close to dating his love, but so far, as he was after all "just a friend". But when Kunpimook did things like this, sleep on him, or hold his hand, or invite him to the mall, Yugyeom could trick himself into thinking they were together. He could have a split second of pure happiness where he was with his boy crush. Going out on dates, riding the subway together, going to dance shows. He could create a life together in short moments and snippets of their friendship. He could live out his wants in daydreams and unreceived locker love letters. 

It was painful, but he was happy, in moments like this. He smiled lazily as he brushed his friend's bangs out of his face. Leaning down, he placed a kiss on Kunpimook's head, lips brushing lightly against his hair as tears welled in his eyes.

Yugyeom loved the feel of Kunpimook's hair against his lips. He wanted to feel that forever. He wanted to feel their bodies next to each other. He wanted to kiss him in broad daylight. He wanted to hold his hands in the halls at school. He wanted to hold him at night and tell him how much he loved him. He wanted everything he couldn't have. He wanted his best friend as his boyfriend.

Yugyeom sniffled quietly, wiping tears out of his eyes. His body shook with light whimpers as he rested his head on top of Kunpimook's. He cried quietly, barely whimpering, not wanting to wake his friend up. He tilted his head into Kunpimook, pressing another kiss into his hair, and whispering.

"I love you"

Of course, no response.

"I'm sorry"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanna continue this, so if you guys want more, please comment so i know! if i continue it, it'll have a happy ending i swear!
> 
> thanks for reading my messy writing!


	2. odd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> walking home. sharing jackets. running off. texts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me way too long to get written i'm sorry!  
> i've been writing the story outline so i can plan ahead, and good news, this story will have ~20 chapters!
> 
> please alert me of any typos or anything else of that sort, enjoy!
> 
> edit: forgot to add, there's a brief mention of prostitution, nothing serious, it'll make sense when you read it.

"Mook," Yugyeom shook the boy lightly as the train began to slow down. "Mook, wake up, it's your stop"

Kunpimook slowly awoke, rubbing the sleep put of his eyes as he blinked and looked around the subway to find it still nearly empty. He waved Yugyeom off and stood up to find his way to the doors.

"Thanks, Gyeom" He thanked the other boy, as they both made their way to the subway's exit.

Yugyeom leaned against the closest pole and looked over at Kunpimook as he usually did. Gaze with longing and pity. The initial buzz of practically snuggling with his friend had worn off. Now he was just left in the same state he was before. Just friends. It bothered him obviously. He wanted more than anything to confess. If not to Kunpimook directly, then to anyone. He wanted to admit to someone, but all his friends were straight, or so they said. He didn't know where they stood on gay rights anyway, they could be homophobic for all he knew. It was scary to think like that. To have best friends one minute but the moment he _might_ be with a boy, they'd hate him. He just tried not the think about it.

Kunpimook spoke up again. Brushing his dark fringe out of his face as he talked.

"Sit back down, your stop isn't for a while"

"No, I'm gonna walk you home" Yugyeom smiled lightly as he placed and hand on Kunpimook's shoulder.

The elder's face looked a little confused. He argued back quickly after hearing the words.

"No it's late," He began, "You need to go home"

"Stop, its fine"

Kunpimook laughed, excepting Yugyeom's offer as the trains door slowly opened.

"Besides, I can't have a pretty boy like you walking home alone at night" Yugyeom joked, receiving a slap from Kunpimook as they exited the train and made their way to the stairwell.

"Are you afraid I'll get attacked without you?"

"I'm just saying an attractive boy like you has a lot of street value these days" Yugyeom smiled, nudging Kunpimook and looking up and down his desirable body.

Even at 14, Yugyeom could admit his friend was "hot". He was skinny, not taller than Yugyeom, but his legs made him look taller along with the incredibly tight jeans he chose to wear all the damn time. His cheeks where hollowed, cheekbones high, making his smiles look even more beautiful. His lips were full, often tinted pink or red. His skin was pure, unblemished aside from a small amount of unavoidable acne. In Yugyeom's thoughts, he was _so_ attractive, the ultimate 10, pristine and stunning. His clothes, his face, his smile, his laugh, his voice, his hair, his _everything_. Yugyeom loved his _everything_

Kunpimook punched Yugyeom lightly as they exited the train, saying.

"Ugh that's so weird, Gyeom" He cringed slightly at the idea of being trafficked at such a young age. "Are you saying you're protecting me from a life of street prostitution?"

"Uh yes. Yes I am"

Yugyeom laughed, their banter was fun, he always liked talking with Kunpimook. He couldn't imagine a life without talking with his best friend everyday.

"Well..." Kunpimook's shrugged as they both trotted down the stairs. He slipped under the railing and onto Yugyeom's side of the stairway. He moved his body close to Yugyeom's, shoulder to shoulder, or rather shoulder to chest given their height difference. "Protect me then..."

Yugyeom's mouth dropped open, he stopped in the stairwell as he questioned his friend hesitantly.

"What..?"

"Gyeom ah, how am going to escape a life of prostitution if you're not gonna protect me?" Kunpimook skipped out onto the street, holding out his arms in the open space, "Look at all the possible rapists and kidnappers that are gonna get me without your protection"

Yugyeom laughed as Kunpimook joked. He ran towards him, wrapping arms around the boy nervously. He held Kunpimook close to his body, an arm slung around his shoulder as the other one was draped over his front. He was nervous as all hell, he had an excuse to huddle up with Kunpimook for now, but he found it odd Mook had asked for this in the first place. He dismissed it, deciding he might as well enjoy the contact while it lasted.

They walked together, laughing about something or other when a gust of wind barrelled through the street. The coolness surrounding the boys, one of which had a jacket, one who didn't. Kunpimook shivered as the cold air passed through his shirt, his jeans. He moved himself impossibly closer to Yugyeom, escaping the cold with the boy's warmth.

Yugyeom took notice quickly, he rubbed his hand up and down Kunpimook's side. He pulled the boy's head into his chest, in the attempt to warm him up.

"Do you want my jacket?"

"No, I really," Kunpimook started, "I really shouldn't, you're already going out of your way to walk me home.."

"Actually, Mook, you look really cold" Yugyeom removed his arm from Kunpimook's shoulder, he shrugged his jacket off, passing it to his friend, "Take it, I'm serious"

Kunpimook took the article, weighing it in his hands before slipping the jacket over his shoulders. Yugyeom was considerably taller and wider than him. The clothing fit very loosely, it was way too big for him, but it was cozy and warm.

Yugyeom got caught in another daydream. Another moment where he could see them as a couple. In the last minute he'd been practically cuddling him Kunpimook and now he's offered his jacket. Next week they were going on basically a date and not ten minutes ago Kunpimook was sleeping on his shoulder.

It seemed so real when they were like this. It felt like they were a couple most of the time and it began to bother Yugyeom. It was like Kunpimook was teasing him, giving him a glimpse of what he couldn't have.

Yugyeom looked over at his friend, the boy draped in his own jacket. The sleeves where longer than his arms, covering his hands completely. The jacket itself was way to long for Kunpimook. Yugyeom was tall for his age. With this small boy in Yugyeom's large jacket, the end of it was down to his knees. He looked cute, really cute.

Yugyeom flipped the hood into Kunpimook's head. The material completely covered Kunpimook's face. His entire head hooded in the coat. He could no longer see, he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, reaching his arms out to feel around for obstacles.

"Yug, I can't see.."

"I can see that" Yugyeom laughed as his friend tried to walk without his vision.

"Well I can't!" Kunpimook continued to shuffle along the sidewalk slowly, hands outstretched in front of him. He was mere inches from a street post when Yugyeom warned him.

"Mook!" Yugyeom ran towards Kunpimook, ripping is body away from the pole directly in front of him, "Mook, you idiot"

"I'm sorry, I can't exactly see anything." Kunpimook explained, "Maybe you should lead me.."

"I really don't think I shoul-"

Yugyeom was cut off when Kunpimook blindly reached out for this hand. He wrapped the limb around his waist. Yugyeom didn't move, just stood stunned as Kunpimook settled his hand on the curve of his waist.

"There, now make sure I don't walk into anything"

"Or you could like, take the hood off your face..?" Yugyeom suggested, he was quickly pulled forwards as Kunpimook began to walk.

"No, I think this is a lot more entertaining"

Yugyeom got slowly used to the feel of his hand rested on Kunpimook's waist. He smiled at how natural it felt, to be that close to Kunpimook. Yugyeom looked over at his friend, his jacket's hood still down in his face, on his smile visible under the hood. Yugyeom examined his mouth, his lips, his perfect teeth.

"Ahh, Gyeom" Kunpimook cried as he stepped back from the tree he'd collided with. "You walked me into a tree, fuck you"

Kunpimook was laughing, flipping the hood off his face to see Yugyeom's expression was one of concern. Yugyeom seemed genuinely spooked by his comment.

"I'm joking, c'mom"

Kunpimook reassured Yugyeom, pulling him back to his side as they continued to walk the small distance to Kunpimook's house. They walked side by side, the sleeves of Yugyeom's jacket brushing against Yugyeom's jeans as the walked. The streetlights were the only sources of light aside from the stars and the moon. Yugyeom looked up, gazing upon the bright dots littered throughout the sky. He watched as they twinkled on the dark backdrop of the night. He loved the stars, almost as much as he loved Kunpimook. He loved the impossibly far off light like his impossible love for his friend.

They approached Kunpimook's house, Yugyeom pulled him by the sleeve of the jacket, sliding the clothing off him. Kunpimook shivered as he felt cold once again. Yugyeom looked at the jacket in his hands. He looked back at Kunpimook. He watched as the elder's face reddened form the cold. He pitied him and his stupid brain for not bringing a coat.

Yugyeom reached out and handed the jacket back to Kunpimook, saying.

"Keep it, you can give it back on Monday"

He wrapped the jacket around Kunpimook's shoulders, the boy reached up to take the article in his hands to hold it on his shoulders. His hands clasped with Yugyeom's for a quick moment. They held eye context without words for what seemed like hours, their hands touching.

Yugyeom snapped out of it quickly. He stopped himself before anything else escalated. God forbid he leaned in for a kiss. He stepped back several steps. He called with a shock.

"I have to go.." Yugyeom's voice shook as he spoke. He turned quickly, running down the the street and back to the subway.

Kunpimook stood there, shocked at Yugyeom's odd exit. He stayed frozen on the street. Yugyeom had just ran off. He'd given him his jacket then just.. ran off. It was weird, Yugyeom never did anything like that. He was usually the nicest person with goodbyes. He'd hug him and wish him a goodnight, or he'd settle for a respectful handshake. He was nice and courteous, never one to just run off.

Kunpimook slowly made his way to the front door. He dug his hands into his pockets, pulling out his keys and unlocking the door.

"Mum, I'm home" He called into the house as he slipped his shoes off, placing them next to his others.

"How was Yugyeom's show, Bammie"

"It was good" Kunpimook made short conversation with his mom before heading into the kitchen.

"He's a nice boy" His mother reminded as she poured him a glass of water.

"That's why he's my friend.."

"I think he likes you"

"I like him too, Mum" Kunpimook took a sip of his water, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Well why didn't you tell me earlier! You two make such a cute little couple" His mom smiled, obviously misunderstanding the meaning of the conversation.

Kunpimook spit out his water. He laughed as the liquid dropped down his face. The thought of him and Yugyeom being... boyfriends... was really weird. The thought of Yugyeom being gay was really weird. Not that he was homophobic, Yugyeom would tell him if he was gay, right? No, no way, Yugyeom was straight like everyone else.

"No, no me and Yug are just friends. I'm not even gay"

"You don't know that, Bam" Oh god not this again, "You might meet a nice boy like Yugyeom and you might love him so much his gender wouldn't matter"

"I'm not in love with Yugyeom, Mum" Kunpimook rolled his eyes.

"How do you know?"

"Ugghh, Muuuuummm" Kunpimook plugged his ears, running up to his room. He sped up the stairs, blocking out his mother's voice as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He jumped down on his bed, huffing as his brushed a hand through his hair. He was exhausted, it was Sunday, he had school tomorrow, but he still had Yugyeom's odd behavior on his mind. He turned his phone back on, sliding away irrelevant messages and opening a chat with Youngjae.

 **kunpiSHOOK** : hey jae i need to talk to you

Kunpimook laid back on his bed, he thought about Yugyeom again until he revived his next text message. Yugyeom was fine up until the very end of the night. He let Kunpimook sleep on him on the train. He let Kunpimook have his jacket on the way home. He even gave the jacket back to Kunpimook. He was so nice up until the last ten seconds of the outing. It was weird.

otterjae: whats up

 **kunpiSHOOK** : not much. i went to yug's dance show tonight

otterjae: nice. was it good?

 **kunpiSHOOK** : yeah he did really well

otterjae: so why did you text?

 **kunpiSHOOK** : do you think there's been something off about yug lately?

otterjae: no is he acting weird?

 **kunpiSHOOK** : i dunno. could you talk to him tomorrow?

otterjae: yeah i'll mention it

 **kunpiSHOOK** : thanks jae

otterjae: no prob. now get some sleep

 **kunpiSHOOK** : yeah whatever. gn

otterjae: gn

Kunpimook shut his phone off. He felt slightly less worried about Yugyeom. But still, he was worried about him. He was his best friend. He wanted to talk to Yugyeom about it. He wanted them to have trust. He wanted them to be on good terms. Yug running off like that was troubling, too troubling at this time of night.

He threw his phone onto a bean bag chair in the corner of his room. He stood up briefly to shut the lights off before returning straight back to bed. He didn't even bother to change his clothes, or brush his teeth, or anything. He just fell asleep like that. Embracing the horrible nightmares about Yugyeom that were sure to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> youngjae will be a pretty big character fyi.
> 
> also, thank you to all the nice people leaving comments, that really makes me love this story even more! thank you!
> 
> sidenote: i use bam/bammie as a family nickname and mook/kunpimook as a friend name.


	3. conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> waking up. walking to school. gossip. hugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i swear my updates will be more frequent as the chapters continue, but until then, please try to put up with me being horrible at updating haha
> 
> also thought you guys should know, i write yug and bam with a bigger height difference. yug is 5'7 and bam is 5'3. enjoy!

Yugyeom wandered back into his room. Dressed only in a towel around his waist and another one in his hair. He shut the door behind him as he continued to dry his hair. He fluffed the towel around on his head, his brown hair fading into a red-ish color as it dried.

His room was average. Posters and pictures hung around the walls. In the corner was a desk, above it was a collage of polaroids. Most of them were photos of him and Kunpimook. Some were of him and Youngjae. Others were of their whole friend group. He liked them, they looked pretty, a constant reminder he had friends he loved and trusted. The walls of his room where all a light blue, aside from the wall next to his desk, which was still white. He liked his room. It felt like home. It held almost every memory of his young childhood. Granted he was only fourteen, so he still had a few years of childhood left. But still, his room held a lot of significance.

Ten minutes later, Yugyeom was sitting on his bed, slipping on ankle socks before leaving the room and trotting down the stairs. He turned into the living room, soon finding his backpack. He checked all its pockets, making sure he had everything he needed for school.  
Lunch money, check. Textbooks, check. Binder, check. He slung the bag over his shoulder. Yugyeom found his way to the front hall where he sat down on the floor. He located his favorite black combat boots, lacing them up quickly before calling out.

"Mom, I'm leaving now..."

He waited for a reply before heading out the door.

"Have a good day at school, Yuggie" His mom called back from somewhere in the house.

"Thanks" Yugyeom began, "I'll try"

With that, he proceeded out the door, locking it behind him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, finding his earbuds somewhere in his bag. He plugged them in, shuffled his "walking" playlist and started his trek to school.

The walk wasn't necessarily that long, just boring. For ten minutes almost everyday he was left alone with his thoughts and his music. He found that's when he did his most thinking. Technically he was constantly thinking, but he actually focused on his thoughts now when he had nothing else to do. It was a little scary to leave himself to only his feelings, but it was important. Without this awkwardly quiet walk every morning, he might have never confronted his feelings, about life, but more about Kunpimook. Though he'd never told anyone, he'd rehearsed the conversations he'd eventually have in his head.

He never really knew exactly how he'd come out, but he tried to prepare. He thought that _eventually_ he'd just try to explain his idea about gender. The thing that he wanted people to understand was that, for him, gender didn't matter. If he liked someone he liked them. If he knew he liked someone, and hadn't attached a gender to the person, he still liked them regardless. It was insane to think that people could fall in love him with a woman, but if they were the same person, but simply male, the attraction would be gone. That's just not how Yugyeom's brain worked. He wanted people to understand that it wasn't a big deal.

Yugyeom crossed he street, still several minutes away from school. Today being a Monday, everyone would be at school, most likely. Meaning that the classes would be loud and full of conversations, both about the subject and not. Yugyeom didn't _not_ like Mondays, he just preferred other days of the week. Tuesday for example, Tuesday was still early in the week, he felt like he could focus more. Or Wednesday, exactly in the middle, usually pretty uneventful. Mondays were when he had dance practice, same as Wednesday and Friday. He liked having dance outside of school. He was good at it, really good actually.

The wind blew cold against his face as he approached school. The building was fairly big, holding an average amount of students, roughly 400. Yugyeom wasn't at the top of the social pyramid, but he had some friends who were. He was sure as soon as he came out, he'd no longer have any chance to be "popular", whatever that meant. He didn't mind though, he'd rather have a boyfriend than popularity. The only thing he worried about in a scenario where he'd be dating Kunpimook, was, would he still have any friends after that. Like, wouldn't his straight friends not want to hang out with him if he had a boyfriend. They'd assume that since he's queer, he'd have a crush on them, right.

It was a horrible thought, to think that everyone you cared about would abandon you because of who you loved, but nonetheless, Yugyeom thought about it. He wondered if anyone would be there for him after he came out. Hopefully his family, that's what really mattered to him. He worried about his friends though. He could probably survive the rest of middle school on his own. He was independent, he could do it, right?

Yugyeom dismissed his stupid thoughts as he opened the front doors of the school. He meandered the halls looking for his locker. Quickly, after darting up two staircases and turning three corners, he found it. It was along one of the school's back walls. It was blue, like every other locker in the entire building. Nothing particularly special about it, from the outside at least. 

He scrambled in his combination, clicked the lock off the door. The locker swung open, metal door squeaking. The inside was filled with yet more poloroids. There were notes and doodles pinned up on the locker's walls with magnets. On the inside of the door was a mirror, displaying Yugyeom's reflection as he collected his things for the morning.

After rearranging the contents of his backpack, Yugyeom checked his reflection one last time before leaving for class. He slung is bag over his shoulder once more and shuffled through the bustling crowd of students, eventually finding his period one class.

That class today, happened to be geography. Yugyeom was average with geography. He wasn't the best at it, but obviously not the worst. He turned the first corner, already almost _subconsciously_ walking to the classroom. When three out of his five school days began in the same room, it was kind of second nature to automatically walk to that class.

Yugyeom continued, passing other students as he darted up the stairwell. The school didn't have that many students, almost half what his high school would have. But still, it was absolutely crowded, especially in the morning when anyone and _everyone_ was on their way to class.

Finally, Yugyeom was met with the last flight of stairs. He ran up them, two at a time, backpack slamming against his back as he jumped. He made it to the building's top floor, quickly pushing open the doors he was met with. They swung open under his touch with little resistance.

Just inside the doors was his first class. It was still a couple minutes until class started, but he entered anyway. Inside, was Jaebum, Youngjae, Jackson, and of course, where there is a Jackson, there is also a Mark. Of course, there were other students in the room, but these were the only ones Yugyeom cared about right now. He greeted his teacher with a wave and a smile before joining the group of boys.

He found a seat next to Youngjae as he listened to the conversation already taking place. It was about a new video game, the new Assassins Creed, Yugyeom idly joined the discussion, speaking is mind about the game. Though he wasn't sure what the other boys' opinion on it was he argued for the better.

After only, maybe thirty seconds of talking, Youngjae checked the clock urgently, he looked back at the boy next to him.

"Gyeom," He started, tapping Yugyeom on the shoulder.

"Yeah.."

"Can I talk to you?" Youngjae's words came out quietly as he leaned into Yugyeom's body.

"Sure" Yugyeom smiled, "What's up?"

Youngjae didn't say anything, his eyes searching around in the room. He looked worried, if Yugyeom was being honest. But worried of what, Yugyeom didn't know. After mere seconds of consideration, Youngjae grabbed Yugyeom's wrist.

"Can we talk over here..?" Youngjae pulled Yugyeom over to the corner of the classroom, next to the window.

Yugyeom leaned against the radiator, hands stuffed in his pockets. "What is it?"

"I was chatting with Kunpimook last night" Youngjae began, voice still low, "He's worried about you"

Yugyeom flinched slightly at Youngjae's words. Kunpimook was worried? About him?

"He's worried about me?"

"He said you were acting really weird last night" Youngjae sounded guilty, "I don't know what's going on, but if you need to tell us something you can"

"Oh, no it's just.." Yugyeom's sentenced faded off as he couldn't think of a way to end it.

"It's just.. what?"

"I'm confused I guess, it's fine, really" Yugyeom twiddled his thumbs, looking out the window to avoid Youngjae's eye contact.

"Like I said, if you wanna talk, I'm here. Or Jackson or Mark... or anyone, it's eighth grade, it's not rocket science"

"I know, Jae" Yugyeom nodded along, "Maybe we'll chat la-"

Yugyeom cut himself off as the classroom door swung open. In doorway stood Kunpimook. He looked good as ever, practically glowing head to toe. Adorning a silky charcoal button up, the top few undone, showing off his evident collar bones in the morning's sun. He had chosen to wear the tightest jeans on _earth_ , or so it seemed. The black denim trailing up and down his skinny legs. Yugyeom got lost in his looks, ignoring his ongoing talk with Youngjae. Yugyeom knew he shouldn't let his eyes wander to Kunpimook's back, though he did anyway. He was fourteen for god sakes. He shouldn't be staring at his bestfriend's ass, but also, he was fourteen so we was going to goddamn stare at his bestfriend's ass.

Kunpimook was so... tiny. He was short, and skinny, and usually (note: usually) quiet. He was often cold and shaking, his little body not powerful enough to circulate the right amount of blood to his extremities. Yugyeom was wanted to hug him, and cuddle him, and keep him warm, and love him, and kis-

"Yug!" Youngjae snapped, clicking his fingers in front of the other's face, "C'mon, class is gonna start soon"

Yugyeom quickly shook himself out of whatever love-induced trace he was in. He turned back to Youngjae, "Hmm..?"

"Gosh, do you ever pay attention?"

"On occasion" He smiled as the two sat back down, ready for the day's lesson.

/////

By the end of the period, students were supposed to be working, though a certain group of boys decided to chat through the end of class. There were only minutes left until their second period, so the consequences wouldn't be _that_ devastating.

Someone, at some point had brought up the idea of hanging out at Kunpimook's house after school on Tuesday. Of course this interfered with the plans Kunpimook already had for that day.

"Nah, I'm already doing something on Tuesday" Kunpimook smirked, flashing a glare at Yugyeom.

"Ohhh do you have a _daaate_?" Jackson pestered, poking at Kunpimook.

"No!" He sounded nearly offended, kicking back at Jackson, "I'm going to the mall with Yug"

Jackson threw a look at Yugyeom so fast it was a wonder his neck didn't snap. He stared Yugyeom down, raising an eyebrow before saying.

"So a date?"

"What?" Yugyeom coughed, "It's not a date! We're just hanging out.."

Jackson laughed, waving Yugyeom off before asking, "But seriously, is it a date?"

Kunpimook gave him a so-called "death stare" before grabbing his backpack and jumping out of the classroom. Yugyeom watched as he escaped out the door. He looked back at Jackson, who was still laughing.

"Aish, why do you ruin everything?" Yugyeom said, mostly to himself, but also to Jackson.

He ran a bag strap over his shoulder, trotting after Kunpimook and out of the class. He was mad at Jackson no doubt, he was such an idiot sometimes. _He shouldn't poke fun at me and Kunpimook_ , Yugyeom thought, _He's practically dating Mark after all_.

Yugyeom exited he classroom, looking around to see Kunpimook leaning with his back against the lockers to his right. He was on his phone, mindlessly scrolling, he didn't look nearly as pissed off as he was when he'd left the classroom.

Yugyeom approached him, tapping him on the shoulder, "Hey, I'm sorry about them.."

"They're just being stupid" Kunpimook looked up from his phone, soon shoving it in his back pocket, "If Jackson's gonna be an asshole we can't stop him"

"Jackson's always gonna be an asshole" Yugyeom laughed.

"So what's up?"

"I was just wondering how we're gonna meet after school" Yugyeom awkwardly brushed the back of his neck, "I have science last period tomorrow... and you have math, right?"

"Yeah... We'll just meet at our lockers, I guess"

"At like.." Yugyeom started, "Three ten?"

"That's should be good"

"Aw cool" Yugyeom cheered, far, far too excited for the following day.

The boys stood like that in the hallway for a while. Not talking, just standing, avoiding eye contact. Yugyeom looked around aimlessly until he noticed Kunpimook was back on his phone. Yugyeom sighed, knowing he was the only one feeling awkward, because what reason would Kunpimook have to be nervous around him? Yugyeom thought out the next day, what they'd do and when they'd do it, etcetera, until Kunpimook spoke up.

"Hey, and don't worry about skytrain fare" He offered graciously, "I'll pay for you"

Yugyeom gasped out of instinct, "No, I'll pay for my fare, really"

"Yug, c'mon"

"I'm not joking, Mook" Yugyeom laughed, almost baffled as to why Kunpimook was offering to pay his fare.

"Really, this is me paying you back for walking me home last night" Kunpimook insisted.

"Ooohh he walked you home _last night_ " Jackson cooed as a flood of students exited the classroom as the bell rung.

Said flood of students pushed Yugyeom and Kunpimook temporarily to the side, shoving the boys up against each other.

"Shut up, Wang" Yugyeom shouted.

Kunpimook shook his head and chuckled as the class shuffled through the hallway. Once the group had passed, he removed himself from Yugyeom's body. Their chest having been against each other's when they were pushed aside. Kunpimook stepped back, brushing off his shirt as he spoke.

"Like actually, I'm paying your fare"

"Uhh, thanks, Mook" Yugyeom stuttered.

Kunpimook smiled, leaning forward, he stood on his toes to reach Yugyeom's height. He wrapped his arms around Yugyeom's neck and settled his chin on the other boys shoulder. And they stood like that, hugging, in the middle of the hallway.

"We're gonna have so much fun, Gyeommie!"

Yugyeom remained frozen, slowly bringing his hands around to pat Kunpimook's back. Kunpimook never hugged him, he never hugged anyone. He was acting really weird, maybe even weirder than Yugyeom admitted he was acting the night before.

"Yeah... I'm excited too.."

"Good" Kunpimook once again removed himself from Yugyeom's body, "See you at lunch!"

With that, Kunpimook picked up his backpack, and promptly skipped down the hall, and assumingly to his next class. Leaving Yugyeom dazed, not to mention mortally confused. The only thing he could do now, was overthink every second of that conversation before the next time they saw each other. Then repeat that all again, until Tuesday, after school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh the support this has been getting is so amazing! i've never received so many comments on such a short fic! thank you!
> 
> the next chapter might take a while, it should be pretty long, so it might take ~a week to complete, sorry!


	4. date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> late dismissal. skytrain. arcades. making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me so long i'm so sorry!! it's like 8k so hopefully a long chapter makes up for the long wait!!
> 
> this is like 90% markson crack you're welcome haha
> 
> only proofread once... so probably typos... sorry!

Last period class was often not the most focused class, the fact that Yugyeom was _minutes_ away from meeting Kunpimook was not helping him become better behaved. He was fiddling nervously with his pencil, restless and waiting for the bell to ring. He was pretty sure everyone else in the class was looking at him. The anxious boy tapping his foot, constantly checking the clock. He didn’t mind though, he just wanted class the be over already. And he would wait as long as it took, granted he would see Kunpimook after.

Yugyeom was still a little unsure of the meaning of their outing. He’s told the guys that it wasn’t a date. Because it wasn’t, right? It was just a friend thing, right? Yeah, two bros can go out shopping together, and get ice cream, and play arcades, and see a movie together. It not _weird_ or _gay_. They were just going to enjoy each other’s company, for the afternoon. It wasn’t a date. Why would Kunpimook want to go on a date with Yugyeom anyway? Kunpimook was straight, like really straight. Like kisses _girls_ straight. And Yugyeom was also straight… not really… he was partly straight… kind of..?

Truth be told, he was a flaming pansexual. So technically he was attracted to girls. And Kunpimook was attracted to girls… so they were just two boys, attracted to girls, going out… on a date.

 _Oh god_ , Yugyeom’s head was thrashing with the onset of a headache. He stopped his worrying, as much as he could, and focused on the chalkboard in front of him. At least he had science to take his mind off his stupid crush.

/////

Class was _finally_ wrapping up, nothing was being taught anymore. There was no longer the voice of a teacher present in the classroom, instead it was filled with the cries and calls of numerous conversations that had arose. The students were _supposed_ to be doing homework, however the majority had found it more entertaining to chat amongst each other.

Not everyone from the main friend group, were in the specific science class. The so-called “Got7 friend group” - cleverly named by Jackson, for god knows what reason - was split up that day. Youngjae, Jinyoung and Kunpimook were currently in math, on the other side of the school. That meant Jackson, Mark and Yugyeom were left in science class; Jaebum had football practice, Jackson technically did too, but he figured he’d bail to annoy Yugyeom throughout their last class. The three were sat along a row of desks, Mark and Jackson on one side of the row, Yugyeom was across from them, still constantly checking the time in the few minutes they had left of class.

“C’mon, man,” Jackson poked at Yugyeom with the end of his pencil, “Just wait a bit, class will end eventually”

“But I want it to end _now_ ” Yugyeom whined.

“Chill out, you’ll see your boy crush soon enough~”

Yugyeom slapped a hand over Jackson’s mouth before quietly hushing “Kunpimook is not my _boy crush_ ”

“You just keep telling yourself that..” Mark chimed in, removing Yugyeom’s hand from Jackson’s face.

“Shut up, Tuan” Yugyeom snapped, ridding his palm of Jackson’s spit.  
Jackson gasped “Hey. Don’t talk to Mark like that”

“Oh because you don’t want your boyfriend getting his feeling hurt~!?”

“Well.. no. Not like that” Jackson blushed lightly

Yugyeom shook his head, the absolute hypocrisy that was evident in the situation was outrageous. Jackson was teasing _him_ , about Kunpimook? He was the self-proclaimed bachelor of eighth grade, despite being attached to Mark at the hip, practically. The two were always together, in class and otherwise. It was annoying how much they liked each other, like they were throwing their non-existent relationship in Yugyeom’s face.

Yugyeom brought it to light, “Why do you guys have to be so gay in front of me anyway? Like can’t you do it _anywhere_ else?”

“ARE YOU USING GAY AS AN INSULT??” Jackson snapped.

With his arms up defensively, Yugyeom quickly said “NO, no no. I’m just saying that it’d annoying to have couples all around me..”

“Because you’re in love with Mook and it’s irritating to see anyone else but the two of you together..?”

“Be quiet,” Yugyeom flicked a ruler at him, “I already told you, I’m not in love with Kunpimook. He’s my best friend, it’d be weird..”

“I’m in love with Mark and it’s not weird~”

Mark blushed, “JACKSON! Stop saying that”

“It’s true, babe” Jackson slung an arm around Mark’s shoulders, holding him into his chest.

Mark pushed him away, “Ew get off me”

“Guys seriously,” Yugyeom sighed, “If you guys were gay, that’d be fine, but you’re not so stop joking about it”

“Whatever,” Jackson waved him off, “Someone’s desperate to get out of that closet..”

“Jackson! Stop. If Yugyeom’s gay, or bi or something, it doesn’t effect us so we it shouldn’t matter, right”

Jackson looked back at Yugyeom, “Oh I think it would effect me at least”

“What the fuck, Jacks” Yugyeom shook his head.

“If you were gay you’d have a crush on me, right?”

“No,” Yugyeom slapped his arms, “Absolutely not”

“Whyyyyy~ I’m so pretty”

“You’re annoyinggg~” Yugyeom started to pack his backpack as he spoke, “Now if you two don’t mind, I have a date to go on”

Mark’s mouth dropped open, soon after Jackson’s. The boy looked Yugyeom until he quickly corrected himself.

“A friend date! With a friend! Nothing else!” Yugyeom sputtered, cheeks heating up as the bell rang. His classmates broke into laugher, almost pitying his love, “Shut up!”

Yugyeom left the classroom in a rush, he hid his face in his hands most of the way to his locker. Jackson and Mark were just jerks, they had enough of their own problems and certainly didn’t need to invade Yugyeom’s personal life. He was pretty close to referring to them with ship name if this teasing went on any longer. He didn’t mind as much as he’d made it out to seem, if he was being honest. He was sure Kunpimook was less forgiving though, he’d even left the classroom because of it the day before. He probably found it offensive, given that he was straight, he wouldn’t want rumors going around that he ‘played for the other team.’ And truthfully, if Yugyeom was straight, he wouldn’t want any ‘gay’ rumors going around about him. Granted, he still doesn’t want anyone to think he’s gay, or even pan regardless, not yet at least.

Yugyeom turned the last corner, and passed through a large set of double doors before finding his locker. He was, as of right now, the only person in the area. The other classes were probably just being held back for a slightly later dismissal. He opened his locker with a slam, rattling the contents as he replaced his textbooks with homework, and his gym clothes with a new jacket. He looked around, still seeing no one else on the floor. He felt a little lonely, all by himself, but soon after, the first class arrived into the hallway. It was Kunpimook’s class, Yugyeom recognized the students right away, breath hitching when he saw Kunpimook find his way to his own locker.

Yugyeom looked the other way, seeing Jackson and Mark coming up behind him. He smiled at them weakly, trying to calm himself before saw Kunpimook. In the next second, he felt a slap on his ass, quickly turning to see Jackson had spanked him.

“Go get ‘em, tiger” Jackson winked, Mark laughing subsequently.  
Yugyeom groaned, half hating, but half loving his friends for the encouragement. He slammed his locker shut, scrambling his lock and grabbing his backpack from where it was resting on the floor. Bag on his back, and a confident feeling in his chest, Yugyeom approached Kunpimook.

With a smile, Yugyeom tapped the boy lightly on the shoulder. He inhaled sharply as Kunpimook turned around to meet him. When Yugyeom was met with Kunpimook’s glowing face, his breath hitched yet again, it was becoming a habit. Kunpimook smiled back at him, exclaiming.

“Gyeom!” His voice was high and filled with excitement, “You ready to go?”

“Yep” Yugyeom nodded his head, gesturing to the backpack he had around his shoulders.

“Cool. I just need to drop off my..” Kunpimook struggled with unloading his own backpack, small hands fumbling around the heavy books, “…Textbooks”

“Do you need help with those?” Yugyeom asked, sounding a little unsure.

“No no, I’m fine..”

“So, umm..” Yugyeom cursed under his breath, he was so awkward he hated it, “Should I wait in the foyer for you?”

Kunpimook thought for second, “Uh yeah, I’ll be there in like three minutes”

“Aw cool, okay” Yugyeom turned on his heels, “I’ll see you there, I guess”

Kunpimook called something back at him as he left the lockers, though Yugyeom didn’t hear, he was smiling to himself, a tight feeling in his heart. He felt his cheeks tighten as he smiled, little dimples appearing out of happiness. He was bursting with excitement, for a friend date. With a friend. Nothing else.

/////

After not much waiting, Kunpimook had met up with Yugyeom. He looked equality as excited as Yugyeom was, if not more, if that was possible. He was dressed in his usual skinny black jeans, high waisted. He had tucked his turtleneck into the pants, it was red and black, stripes going horizontally across his small frame. He looked, cute and precious, as usual. Making it feel even more natural when Yugyeom had slung an arm over his shoulders on their way to the skytrain stop. Kunpimook snuggled against Yugyeom’s body as they walked, it was pushing the boundary of ‘friends’ and they hadn’t even got the mall yet. Yugyeom was grateful through, whatever it was, what ever _this_ was, he was enjoying it for the time being.

Kunpimook’s hair bushed against Yugyeom’s chin as they walked, he was so short, it was cute. Neither of them talked, they’d kind of mastered the essence of silences, no matter how awkward, or not awkward they were. The rest of the trek to the station was, for the most part, normal. Or as normal as normal can be when two best friends were basically going out together. Once they had finally gotten to the station, Yugyeom had offered to pay his far again. To which Kunpimook fought back, still insisting to pay for him. Inevitably, Kunpimook had shoved his own change into the ticket machine before Yugyeom could argue any more.

Yugyeom thanked him graciously, saying it wasn’t necessary, but Kunpimook had simply told him to shut up about it. Yugyeom obliged quietly as the two got to the platform. The platform was fairly packed, very actually. It was school rush hour at the time, meaning every student from the surrounding schools were most likely using that station. Not everyone though, the skytrain was slightly less used than the subway, but still, the platform was generally crowded. Which would soon make getting on the packed train absolutely uncomfortable, but of course, the boys were used to that.

When the train finally pulled into the station, it came with a cold wind, reminding Yugyeom of the night days ago. That night was so nice, so flawless, until Yugyeom had ruined it. He felt bad about it, he’d aced his dance performance, Kunpimook had even fallen asleep on him, he’d been invited to go out with Kunpimook, it was the closet thing he’d had to having any type of interaction that was non-platonic with the other boy, up until now at least.

The boys got on the train, and as expected it was very, very packed. At first, Yugyeom thought they’d have to wait for the next one. But Kunpimook quickly grabbed the sleeve of his sweater and pulled him onto the train. The doors shut behind him, almost violently, he turned back to see that Kunpimook was once again right up against his chest, though probably not by choice this time. Kunpimook was pressed flush against his body, as a result of the crowded train. Everyone was being pushed around, they were only going a few stops, so it wouldn’t be a huge problem, hopefully.

Yugyeom looked down at his friend as the train pulled away from the station. Kunpimook’s eyes were still filled with the same ambition they had the whole time. Yugyeom could see the joy is his face, eyes equally as wide as his smile. Yugyeom looked down at him, seeing his friend crushed against his body, but happy just the same. They didn’t talk, the skytrain as far too loud to have any sort of knowledgeable conversation, so Yugyeom, being awkward as usual, casted his gaze everywhere but Kunpimook’s direction. Simply waiting out the time until they arrived at their desired station.

The ride took a while, long enough that Yugyeom had started to wonder if they’d got on the right train, but soon he was rid of his worries when the next station announcement went off.

_“Next station is, Asok. Asok station”_

The announcement brought light to Yugyeom’s eyes, he gestured to Kunpimook that it was their stop. Kunpimook nearly burst of out of the train when the doors were opened, he jumped out quickly, pulling Yugyeom behind him. The boys, now stood on the platform, looking at each other, not knowing who was going to speak first.

“Well come on, lets go already” Yugyeom nearly shouted, not meaning for his voice to be quite as loud as it was.

Kunpimook nodded his head impatiently, within seconds, they were laughing and running up to the mall. The bridge connecting the station to Terminal 21 seemed to fly by under their feet as the boys ran into the building. The entrance was vast, huge doors with people constantly entering and exiting them. Yugyeom stood in front of them, still with a hold on Kunpimook’s wrist, scared he’d be whisked away into the crowd without him. It didn’t take long for the boys to rush into the mall, still laughing and giggling with excitement. They got into the main corridor, stopping soon after entering, to take in the sight. The mall was massive, nine floors of everything anyone could want. Each level was designed after a city, Tokyo, Rome, Paris, and so on. It was an interesting mall, unlike any other in the world.

Yugyeom tugged on Kunpimook’s sleeve, as he had done at the train station, “You said you’d get me some Swensens, let’s go”

“Yeah, what floor’s it on?”

“Uhh,” Yugyeom looked over at the closet map, “The fourth, I think..”

“Well let’s go then!” Kunpimook grabbed Yugyeom’s hand, pulling them up the nearest escalator.

Yugyeom shuffled awkwardly the entire way up to the fourth floor. Escalator after escalator, Kunpimook still held onto his hand, he was being oddly touchy and the outing had barely even begun. They got the top of the last one, Yugyeom almost tripping over himself as he was almost violently dragged off the moving stairway. The two of them stood in the open space on the new floor, looking around but not quite knowing which way to go.

“So uhh, where is it..” Yugyeom looked at Kunpimook for advice, however the boy looked just as clueless.

Kunpimook searched the floor, the map, “I’m gonna go with… this way” He started off in one direction, confidence in his voice.

“Wait, Mook, are you sure?”

“Uh no,” Kunpimook answered, “But you only live once, right?”

Kunpimook spun on his heels, turning back to the direction he previously heading. Yugyeom shook his head, this boy was a mess, but a mess he could love.

“What am I gonna do with you?” Yugyeom laughed, remaining in the spot was standing.

“You could follow me,” Kunpimook beckoned for Yugyeom to join him, “And them maybe I’ll buy you ice cream”

Yugyeom grudgingly followed, feeling like there was no other option, because well, there really wasn’t. He followed Kunpimook through he crowded space, resisting the urge to grab his hand and be pulled along. They were out of luck, in terms of ice cream, the boys couldn’t locate the Swensens if their lives depended on it. Leaving them to walk in mindless circles and simply talk. It was nice though, it was what friends do, and they were friends after all. Granted friends with, as far as Yugyeom knew, one way platonic attraction, but they could still hang out just the same, or similarly at least.

After far too long of having no idea where they were headed, Yugyeom piped up, “Do you even know where we’re going?”

“No,” Kunpimook laughed, “Do you?"

“How would I know?” Yugyeom looked around for any indication of where in the mall they were, “If you haven’t noticed were walking in circles now..”

“Well of course I realized that”

Yugyeom pushed his friend lightly, “So are we just gonna keep doing that?”

“Do you have a better idea?” Kunpimook teased.

“Actually,” Yugyeom stopped, pulling Kunpimook to his side, “I do”

Kunpimook halted, raising an eyebrow, “And what would that be?”

“Aren’t there arcades on the top floor?”

“Yeah,” Kunpimook pondered, “I think so..”

Yugyeom raised his voice slightly, “So why don’t we go?”

Kunpimook looked up, thinking, as if his opinion would appear above his head. Yugyeom just watched, staring at the smaller boy before he answered. 

“Actually, that doesn’t sound _that_ bad”

“Liar,” Yugyeom joked, slapping Kunpimook in the arm, “It sounds awesome but you don’t want to admit it”

“I just don’t want you to be crying when I kick your ass at that race car game”

“Shut up” Yugyeom turned them in the right direction, towards the top level, “I guess you’ll just have to prove yourself”

“I guess I will..” Kunpimook said.

“So lets go~,” Yugyeom whined, tugging at the sleeve of Kunpimook’s turtleneck yet again “C'mon 200 baht says you’ll lose on the first race”

“Yeah whatever,” The younger skipped off towards the next floor, “You’re not scared, are you?”

“You wish”

“C'mon then” Kunpimook called from the bottom of the next escalator.

Yugyeom followed him with a little bit hesitance. He wasn’t worried about losing to Kunpimook at a stupid arcade game, no. He wasn’t even a bit anxious about that, he was sure to win, it wasn’t even in his mind. The thing he was worried about was how successful it would be to race Kunpimook up to the next floor. He has longer legs, wider strides, he could run a hell of a lot faster that Kunpimook. He was bound to beat him.

“Race you to the arcades” He said as menacingly as possible.

Kunpimook shrugged, not really caring, too confident in himself, “Why do you keep proposing battles you can’t win, Yug?”

Yugyeom threw a light punch at the boy’s shoulder is defense. They lined up at the bottom of the escalator, readying their stances to race as fast as they could.

“On my count, okay?” Yugyeom prepared.

Kunpimook nodded, looking far ahead up to the next floors. The arcade was on the top floor, they were only on the fourth, making it a two story climb to the very top. Yugyeom steadied his feet, starting to count.

“One… Two..” Yugyeom tried to hide his smile as he came up with the most _insane_ idea. At the same moment he announced the second count, he pushed Kunpimook to the left, shoving him in front of the escalator going in the opposite direction. “Three!”

Yugyeom took off up the correct one, while Kunpimook was left standing in front of the wrong set. He looked up at Yugyeom who now had a substantial lead on him. He decided he didn’t have the time to switch escalators now, so he gleefully ran up the wrong one. He worked his skinny legs up the steps twice as fast, given that the stairs were moving in the wrong direction.

“I hate you, Yugyeom!!” He shouted, using up all his strength to yell and run up the escalator.

Yugyeom laughed, as Kunpimook was now right beside him, “Don’t worry, I hate you too~”

Kunpimook struggled to finish, people who had actually intended to use the escalator for it’s intended purpose, in it’s intended direction, were now coming at him from the top. He ran up and up, causing a huge commotion before he eventually reached the next floor. He didn’t have a lead on Yugyeom, no, not yet, but he could. He and Yugyeom reached the next floor at a similar time, much to Yugyeom’s surprise. Kunpimook pushed Yugyeom out of his way as they ran to the next set of escalators. They were both being unbelievably loud, probably disturbing the rest of the mall in ways they couldn’t even begin to describe.

They approached the next escalators, practically neck and neck if they were being technical. It wasn’t a big deal at this point, neither was racing for bragging rights, but simply against each other. Kunpimook pushed Yugyeom out of his way as he began skipping up the steps again. Yugeyom fell behind him, giving Kunpimook a considerable lead. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to push Kunpimook to the next floor just a smidge faster.

“You really thought you’d beat me,” Kunpimook teased, both heaving and out of breath, “News flash, you didn’t, suck it, Gyeom”

“I am _not_ sucking any part of you” Yugyeom blushed, half joking.

“Ugh that’s not what I meant, gosh”

“I’m pretty sure you’d enjoy that” Now Yugyeom was really pushing his luck.

Kunpimook blushed himself now, “Shut up”

“Make me”

“That sounds for too kinky for me do deal with right now,” They both giggled, clearly not helping their already screwed up breathing, “Anyway, where’s the arcades?”   
“Over here” Yugyeom led them to the corner of an electronics store where two race car simulators were.

They were the type with the seat, a steering wheel and a screen directly in front. The machines took coins, so naturally Yugyeom reached into his pocket to fish out some change. Kunpimook had paid for his skytrain fare, so the least he could do was pay for this. Though he was quickly stopped, Kunpimook grabbed his wrist and dug his hand out of his pocket.

“I'm paying”

“You really shouldn't,” Yugyeom insisted, “You already paid for my fare here, really”

“No, actually. The whole reason we were here is so that I could buy you ice cream, and that obviously hasn't happened yet, so let me”

“You're too nice, Mook” Yugyeom watched as Kunpimook leaned down to load the machines.

“If you really believe that, you really are more stupid than you look”

“Shut up and select a race already” Yugyeom sat in one of the seats, Kunpimook beside him. He steadied his hands on the steering wheel, getting a feel for the materiel. Kunpimook to his place next to him, he used the buttons on the side of the machine to select 'Two Player Mode'. Yugyeom had let Kunpimook pick the tracks, after all, he had just paid for everything so far. Kunpimook chose the most difficult track, obviously. He looked as though he regretted it the moment it happened. He was trying not to show it as Yugyeom teased.

“I've got 200 baht on this, you sure you're not scared yet?” 

“Me? Pshhh no,” Kunpimook gripped the steering wheel as the countdown started, “I have full confidence in myself and my virtual driving skills” 

Ready. Set, Go.

The race started off a bit slow, the boys still not used to the sensitivity of the petals or any other part for that matter. Yuygyeom's car slipped ahead for a bit, causing Kunpimook to audibly groan. By the second lap, Kunpimook had gained a fair distance on Yugyeom, in fact he was pretty close to passing him. Yugyeom tried with every fiber of his being not to look over at Kunpimook, soon failing quickly after the thought had eventually found a way into his head.

He cast his view over to Kunpimook and off his screen. His friend's face was absolutely wrecked with concentration. He was pushing himself to the edge of his seat, using all his power to race ahead of Yugyeom's virtual car. His tongue was caught between his teeth, it looked hot, if Yugyeom was being completely honest. Did Kunpimook even try to look like this? Was he aware of what he was doing? Did he know the effect it had on people, namely Yugyeom.

Yugyeom heard a screech as his car was rammed into the side of the track. In the time he had looked away from his screen, his car had gone completely off the track and into the side. This caused Kunpimook to take the lead, he cheered to himself a little louder than Yugyeom would have liked. Yugyeom cursed himself for being so careless. He brought his full attention back to his screen and prepared to retake his spot in first.   
The rest of the race was quite tight, it was defiantly close. Though Yugyeom tried and tried, he couldn't regain his place, ending in second place instead if his desired first. Kunpimook seemed ecstatic though, he cheered and poked fun at Yugyeom as he crossed the finish line. He stood up quickly, running out into the open space of the mall. With absolutely no warning, he shouted loudly.

“YEAH BOIII” He shouted loudly, obviously not caring how loud he was.

“Mook, what are you doing?” Yugyeom ran out after him, “I swear to god, please don’t..”

Kunpimook brought his arms up closer to his face in a threatening manor, as if to tease Yugyeom because he knew exactly what Yugyeom didn’t want him to do. With another screech, he threw his head into his arm, and one out behind him, successfully dabbing out his victory.

“Dab on em, dab on em, dab on em” He repeated, dabbing with each repetition. 

He kept on doing that, despite Yugyeom’s many requests and pleas to stop.

“Stop, oh my- you’re embarrassing yourself!” Yugyeom took his distance from Kunpimook, disasosiating himself with the extroverted boy.

Kunpimook stopped for a second, looking at Yugyeom, “I’m just too fab to resist the dab”

“That is the worst thing you’ve ever said”

“I only speak the truth” Kunpimook continued to dab, shouting and yelling, though drawing little attention to himself, as if this was a normal occurrence in the mall.

Yugyeom was starting ot get seriously annoyed. It was Kunpimook, so dabbing was kind of expected, but still, it was getting irritating how he threw his victory straight at Yugyeom. He considered just leaving and waiting until Kunpimook realized and ran after him. but that didn't seem like a good idea, Yugyeom coudln't just leave him alone, because odds are, he’d stay there for a good ten minutes simply dabbing. 

When the dabbing and to got the utter extreme, Yugyeom ran at Kunpimook, grabbing his arms. Yugyeom restrained him from continuing to embarrass himself. He was behind the smaller boy, holding his hands back, and consequently pulling Kunpimook back against his body.

“You will never…” Kunpimook struggled, “…stop..” he wriggled under Yugyeom’s touch, “…the dab..”

“Oh I think I will stop ‘the dab’” Yugyeom kept a hold on Kunpimook’s wrists, turning them around several times.

The next thing both of them heard was a voice calling “Hey! Yugmook!”

They both froze, turning to see who had called the awful mashup of their names. Still in each other’s hold, they turned to see Jackson and Mark strolling up behind them. Jackson had his arm around Mark’s shoulders, casually, because it was a pretty normal thing at this point. Jackson smiled, seeing his two friends caught together in a weird hug. Quite honestly, it was possibly even more embarrassing than what Kunpimook had been doing that got them in this situation.

“Are you two gonna talk to us, or keep… hugging.. or whatever you’re doing..”

Yugyeom quickly removed himself from Kunpimook, letting go of his arms and letting the boy stand properly. Kunpimook stood back up, he brushed off his shirt quickly and looked down at his feet, feeling abashed and blushing. Yugyeom fixed his hair, he looked up at Jackson, who was smirking like an idiot at the whole situation.

“So.. how’s life?”

“Shut up, Jacks” Yugyeom snapped in a playful manor.

“And don’t ever mash our names together like that again..” Kunpimook added.

“Yugmook? Aw no, I think it’s cute”

Mark chimed in, “My personal preference was Kunpigyeom, but they both have a nice ring”

Yugyeom gave Jackson a glare, a look telling him to back off. Though Yugyeom continued to deny and deny his feelings for Kunpimook publically, Jackson wasn’t nearly as clueless as he seemed. Jackson looked startled, patting Yugyeom’s back.

“Anyway, how’s the date going?”

“It’s not a date..!” Yugyeom rolled his eyes as he spoke.

Kunpimook was quick to agree, they looked at each other reassuringly, eyes meeting and lasting a bit longer than should have been normal. “Sure..”

“What are you two doing here in the first place?”

“Glad you asked, Mook,” Jackson removed his arm from Yugyeom’s back and cast it back over Mark, “In fact, Markiepooh and I are on a date ourselves”

“Ew what? No we’re not” Mark took Jackson’s arm off his shoulder, but continued to hold his hand.

Kunpimook coughed, “Markson” and proceeded to cough after.

“What was that?”

“Nothing” Kunpimook shared a smile with Yugyeom, who was trying to hold back his laughter.

Jackson shifted to pull four slips of paper out of his back pocket, other hand still clasped with Mark’s, “Actually, we we’re gonna come with Jae and JB but Jae said he couldn’t come..”

Yugyeom crossed his arms, waiting for Jackson to explain the significance of the paper in his grasp. Kunpimook on the other hand was holding back giggles as he stared at Mark’s hand that was still in Jackson’s.

“Point is, we have four tickets to the new Marvel movie, and we need two more people” Jackson looked over to the movie theatre on their right, “And I guess you nerds are cool enough to join us..”

“Aw thanks, Jacks” Kunpimook smiled, voice ringing with sarcasm, “You managed to make that only slightly offensive”

“I try, I try”

“So, you guys gonna join us?” Mark asked, pulling at the strings of his hoodie with his free hand.

Kunpimook shrugged, “Yeah I guess I can stay for a couple more hours”

“How about you, Gyeom?”

Jackson brought his gaze back to Yugyeom.

“Sure, if the rest of you are going..”

“Aw cool! A double date!” Jackson sang, not quite realizing how weird he was being.

“Shut up!” Mark removed his hand from Jackson’s, he looked at away, clearly blushing at how audacious Jackson was being.

Jackson just laughed, showing no shame as the four boys followed each other to the theatre. They quickly approached the doors labeled ‘SF Cinema’. They were all laughing and filling the room with banter as Jackson handed the tickets over and they received 3D glasses in return. Jackson distributed them to almost everyone throughout the group, of course to everyone except Kunpimook. Jackson held the glasses above Kunpimook’s head, making the boy jump up to reach them.

“You can’t get the glasses if you can’t reach them” Jackson teased, watching Kunpimook jump as high as he could to take the glasses from his hands.

“C’mon, just give me the glasses”

“Aww~ is Mookie too short to reach?” Jackson teased over the loud noises of Mark's laughter.

Yugyeom on the other hand wasn't laughing. It was cute that Kunpimook was short, it was one of his most recognizable traits. Yugyeom however, was quite tall for his age, certainly the tallest of his friend group. Kunpimook was short and adorable. Given, it wasn't really a thing he could control, but nonetheless, it was cute. Yugyeom acted as bystander as he watched Kunpimook jump up around Jackson, his shirt lifting up slightly as he reached. Yugyeom personally, didn't think it was that funny, Kunpimook probably had to deal with the effects of being short everyday, so being teased about it seemed pretty pointless.

Yugyeom lunged forward at Jackson, quickly taking the glasses from his hand with ease. Jackson was still a fair deal shorter than him, making it easy for Yugyeom to snatch the plastic packaged glasses from his friend. Jackson was over took with a hint of sadness as he saw Yugyeom pass the package to Kunpimook, now knowing his teasing was over.

“Aw that's cute,” Jackson eventually warmed up, “Tall boyfriend gives the glasses to his short boyfriend”

“Jackson,” Yugyeom was starting to lose it with Jackson's teasing about their affection, “Kunpimook and I are not boyfriends”

Kunpimook was opening his package, looking down and blushing for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. He listened to Yugyeom and Jackson bicker over who was dating and who wasn't. Jackson had always been like this, always teasing, always making a point of Kunpimook's and Yugyeom's relationship. It had gotten to an alarming level, almost confusing how much he talked about it. He was constantly insisting on his friends being a couple. Whether it was Kunpimook and Yugyeom, Youngjae and Jaebum, Hyunwoo and Jooheon, anyone, he was very adamant on saying his friends were all dating. It was probably because he was most insecure about his arguably abnormal relationship with Mark.

“Let's just get to the movie already” Mark proposed, gesturing to the theatre's doors.

“Wait, wait,” Kunpimook interjected, “I wanna get popcorn”

Jackson looked around, “I don't have any cash on me..”

“I'll pay” Yugyeom offered, given that Kunpimook had paid for _everything_ today.

“No Yugyeom, I-”

“Don't you dare try to pay for this too” Yugyeom pointed at Kunpimook almost threateningly, he wouldn't let Kunpimook get away with paying for this as well. 

“Yug, it's...” Kunpimook tried to stop Yugyeom, but before he could say anything, Yugyeom was running off to the concessions bar.

He ran quickly, long skinny jean clad legs moving as he jogged off to get the popcorn. Kunpimook stood with Mark and Jackson as the two fought over something pointless as he watched Yugyeom exchange his cash for a large bag of popcorn.  
Yugyeom came running back to the group, popcorn in hand. It looked really good, Yugyeom and the snack, both equally glowing. Yugyeom flashed a smile as he greeted the other boys again, he tossed a bit of popcorn into his mouth as Kunpimook spoke.

“You didn't have to get a large” Kunpimook offered.

Yugyeom shot a look at Jackson, almost at a warning as he responded to Kunpimook, “I thought we could share..”

Jackson, being Jackson, let out the giggles he was clearing trying to hold back. Yugyeom rolled his eyes and continued to talk over Jackson, “Can we just get to the movie?”

“Yeah yeah, let's go”

The four boys found their way into the theatre, Yugyeom continued to snack on the popcorn no matter how hard he tried to stop himself. Kunpimook complained that he was going to eat all of it before the movie even started, and that was probably true, but Yugyeom really tried not to. Jackson found a seat next to Mark, as expected, leaving Kunpimook and Yugyeom beside each other, but neither was complaining anyway. They all settled into their seats, playing with each others' 3D glasses and chatting in light banter as the previews played. By the time the lights had dimmed and the movie's title sequence had started playing, between Yugyeom and Kunpimook, about 25% of the popcorn was already gone.

The movie was good, though not much more than twenty minutes in, and Mark had already dozed off and was soundly sleeping on Jackson's shoulder as the rest of the boys continued to watch the film. Yugyeom thought it was funny, wondering how Jackson really felt about Mark. He very often joked that Mark and him were a couple, they really weren't, contrary to popular belief. Yugyeom wondered how it would feel to have Kunpimook's head resting on his shoulder once again, thoughts casting back to the last time that had happened, on the subway. He tried not to think about it though, rather deciding to concentrate on the screen in front of him.

Yugyeom dug his hand into the bag of popcorn sitting between him and Kunpimook. He jumped slightly as he felt something that was _not_ popcorn in the bag. Realizing that he had brushed hands with Kunpimook, Yugyeom quickly removed his hand from the bag, nearly knocking it over in the process.

“Easy there, Gyeom” Kunpimook whispered in the quiet theatre.

Yugyeom blushed in the dark, “Sorry, you startled me..” then proceeded to curl into his seat and regret every awkward interaction he'd ever had with the boy.

Kunpimook chuckled as quietly as he could before returning his attention back to the movie. His face was lit up by the light of the screen as Yugyeom watched him rather than the film itself. His features looked soft in the white light of the theatre. All of a sudden, a flash of light roared and an explosion happened on-screen. The sudden burst of light and sound caused Kunpimook to yelp and jump slightly, moving himself almost into Yugyeom's lap.

At the feeling of Kunpimook half on him, Yugyeom was almost more startled than Kunpimook. He inhaled sharply as Kunpimook threw his arms around his neck and clung to his chest tightly. Yugyeom waited a couple seconds to make sure he wasn't dreaming, pinching his leg through his jeans. After staying frozen for a short while, he brought a hand to Kunpimook's back, rubbing up and down until the boy shifted off his lap and back onto his seat.

Even minutes after the incident, Yugyeom was still recovering from the whole scenario. Kunpimook and Jackson were now completely unfazed, watching the movie again, and Yugyeom was sure Mark would be doing the same, if he were still awake. It took Yugyeom a while, but eventually he returned to a generally relaxed state, and just tried to enjoy the rest of the movie to the best of his ability.

/////

Almost two hours later, the credits were rolling and everyone, except Mark, was slowly standing up from their seats, the bright lights of the theatre stunning them out of the dark. Yugyeom stretched his arms back, flexing his chest out. He almost yawned as Jackson did the same. He looked back over to the screen, casting his eyes over a rolling list of names he wouldn’t even try to read. Jackson on the other hand, was desperately trying to wake Mark up. He was a heavy sleeper, and apparently heavy enough to remain sleeping even when Jackson was repeatedly hitting him.

“Mark…!” Jackson slapped him lightly, “Markie~ wake up”

Mark stirred gently, subconsciously kicking Jackson away, or rather, tried to. Yugyeom just laughed lightly, high voice echoing in the large room, that was now for the most part empty except for them. Kunpimook was behind him, leaning against the row of seats in front of them, still snacking on the leftover popcorn as he watched the situation with Mark unfold.

“Good movie” He commented, nodding his head towards the screen.

“Yeah,” Yugyeom smiled, leaning next to him and continuing to watch a very sleepy Mark fight with a very annoyed Jackson, “They put on a better show though”

“True” Kunpimook agreed.

Jackson huffed loudly, “Would you two shut up and help me with Mark?”

“It’s pretty simple, Jacks” Yugyeom smiled, walking over to where Mark was slouched in the seat. He looked around, eventually picking up a soda cup, and proceeding to throw it at Mark’s head, “Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t think of that..”

Mark groaned and reached for his forehead where the cup at smashed against his skull. He didn’t look like he was in that much pain, lucky for Yugyeom.

“Well I’m sorry, I didn’t want to throw a cup and my best friend”

“C’mon Jackson,” Yugyeom chuckled, picking up the cup that’d fallen from Mark, “It’s perfectly normal to throw things at your friends”

Kunpimook shielded his face as Yugyeom turned to him, “Don’t you dare..”

Yugyeom denied Kunpimook’s threat, chucking the plastic at Kunpimook and watching as the boy covered his head as the cup made impact. Kunpimook looked up at him after, looking annoyed to see Yugyeom’s smiling face.

“See,” Yugyeom turned back to Jackson, “It brings as closer, a bonding experience”

“Can you just keep quiet so we can leave?”

“Yeah.. whatever” Yugyeom nodded as he and Kunpimook exited the aisle and made their way down the stairs to the theatre’s doors.

Jackson and Mark were quick to follow, Jackson leading him while Mark was still little disoriented. They made it out of the theatre and back into the main floor of the mall shortly, practically tripping over each other as the loud noises and bright lights of the mall overwhelmed them to the point of laughter. It wasn’t much, but it was fun. Kunpimook clung to Yugyeom as the boys meandered back to the arcades where they’d originally met. Yugyeom leaned against one of the race car booths. Jackson and Mark leaned on each other, Mark dropping his head onto Jackson’s shoulder again.

The light of the mall returned to their eyes as banter arose. Jackson seemed to not mind as Mark wrapped his hands around his bicep. Jackson was probably glad, come to think of it. He probably wanted Yugyeom to see how oddly close him and Mark were, as a way to make him feel crappy about his relationship with Kunpimook. It didn’t really bother him though, Yugyeom was perfectly fine being just friends… nothing more… but in the end, he knew he was lying to himself. Things he would do to have any kind of _romantic_ relationship with Kunpimook was incredible. He’d do short of selling his soul just to feel Kunpimook’s lips against his. Or his arms around his waist. Or the hot feeling of Kunimook’s breath against his neck.

He wasn’t desperate, no. He was undeniably hopeful. Hopeful that one day his impossible love would pull through. He was no longer content with thinking about a fantasy that wouldn’t last. They had less than four months left of eighth grade. He and Kunpimook would most likely be going to different high schools. It hurt to admit that Yugyeom would probably go to an arts high school for dance, and Kunpimook was on track to go the the district school if his grades continued the way they were. Yugyeom worried for him sometimes. It wasn’t anything he wanted. What he _did_ want, was for eighth grade to last forever. Separating their friend group was the last thing he desired. Jackson had been boasting about an athletics school, same as Jaebum. Jinyoung, Mark and Youngjae were trying to find a way to stick together, though that seemed doubtful. 

Kunpimook was in the middle, he’d do fine on his own, wherever it was that he went. Yugyeom would also survive if left independent, but he didn’t want that. He just wanted them to all stay together, at the same school, with the same teachers, and the same classes. It was stupid to think like that, to want the impossible, but he thought it nonetheless.

Yugyeom snapped out of his dangerous spiral of throughs. He looked back to the group who was joyously chattering about the film. He smiled and nodded along to the comments, not really caring as much as he should.   
“Shit,” Kunpimook cursed, “If I’m gonna make it home before dark, I should get going”

Yugyeom pouted, “Are you sure you don't want to wait? My mom can probably pick all of us up”

“No it's fine, but thanks anyway” Kunpimook smiled, gathering the few things he'd brought, “I don't mean to be so abrupt but I really should go..”

“Yeah yeah just leave already”

“How kind of you, Jackson” Kunpimook slured sarcastically. He turned to leave, when Yugyeom caught his writs in his grasp.

Yugyeom panicked, not knowing why he grabbed Kunpimook, but knowing he had to say something, “Um, maybe next time we can actually find the Swensens” He smiled, despite his panic.

“Yeah,” Kunpimook smiled back, shaking his wrist from Yugyeom, “Next time sounds nice”

He left with nothing but that, jogging off down the escalators until he was out of site and on his way back to the skytrain. He was more than capable of getting home, but still, same as Sunday night, Yugyeom always wanted Kunpimook to be safe, even when he knew there would be no problem. It was fine though, he'd be okay on his own.

Once Kunpimook was out of their view, Yugyeom and sighed and turned back to Jackson and Mark, who had a look of pity in their eyes.

“Oh Yugyeom,” Jackson began teasing like he always did, but in a calming tone, “You've got it so bad”

“What do you mean _it_?”

“What he means is, it's so obvious, Gyeom, the way you look at him. The way you talk about him. The way you smile at everything he says, and get all blushy when he says your name. It's cute”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes , “Guys, seriously, it's not even real”

“It could be”

Those words broke Yugyeom's heart. It hurt him to know that there was a possibly of him and Kunpimook being happy together. It hurt him to know that maybe the feeling was mutual between him and Kunpimook, and maybe he was just too nervous to say anything. Maybe if he was confident enough they could have been dating a long time ago. But in the end, Yugyeom over thought it. He needed to spend less time worrying about things that were nothing more than a dream, a far off fantasy.

“Yeah, but it's not,” Yugyeom shoved his hands into his pockets, looking down at the ground as he spoke, “And I don't mean to sound doubtful, but do you really think Kunpimook would ever... y'know... like me back?”

“HAH” Jackson laughed loudly and pointed a finger at Yugyeom, “So you admit you _do_ like him!”

“No that's not- that's not what I meant..”

Mark lifted his head of Jackson's shoulder, “What _do_ you mean then?”

“I mean, do you really think Mook's... _gay_ ” Yugyeom asked shyly.

“Yug,” Jackson said condescendingly, “He's wearing designer jeans..”

Yugyeom shook his head, “And....?”

“I don't mean to enforce stereotypes.. but what do you think?” 

“Jackson! That's so...” Yugyeom stuttered for words, making obsence hand gestures as he searched his vocabulary, “So... cishet of you”

“I'm just...! I'm just saying, you can't seriously doubt him that much” Jackson argued.

“Whatever..” Yugyeom looked back towards the rest of the mall, still full of people even in the early evening, “I should be heading home soon anyway”

“Finally~” Jackson laughed.

“Hey! You're the one who invited me to the movie!” Yugyeom pushed at Jackson in the playful manor he always did.

“Just go if you're gonna go, I'm sure you have more important things to do..” Mark separated the two.

Jackson joked, though he really meant well, “Hah, what important things does a _nerd_ like Yugyeom have to do?”

“Hey! I'm sure Yugyeom has a lot of important things to do..”

“Yeah,” Jackson smirked, “Like crying and questioning his sexuality?”

Yugyeom laughed dryly, not even feeling the tiniest bit offended, “That's far too accurate”

The three of them chatted a while longer, more of Jackson being a teasing jackass as Mark became slowly and slowly more tired, leaning more and more on Jackson as he dozed off in the middle of conversation. Yugyeom found it laughable, how crazy his friends were, how wild, how extra. He was just the same though, except with a great deal more inner trauma and dilemma.

“I really should call for a ride now,” Yugyeom pulled his phone out his pocket, “Thanks for the movie~!”

“I'm glad you had fun on your date~” Jackson sang as Yugyeom had done.

“For the last time! This was not a date! And... and,” Yugyeom started to stutter again, “And if it was... It was a double date!”

Mark blushed hard, still drowsy, but somehow embarrassed by Yugyeom's comment despite still holding tightly to Jackson's bicep. Jackson on the other hand, nodded with a smile as Mark lulled his head back onto him.

“Anyway, looks like little Markiepooh over here is getting sleepy. Don't bother calling your mom, I'll call a taxi for all of us”

“You and Mark live on opposite sides of the district..” Yugyeom pointed out.

Jackson looked back at Mark, who was still clinging to him, “He'll stay at my place tonight”

“As if you couldn't be any more of a couple” Yugyeom shook his head again, wondering how he ever found friends like this.

The boys eventfully all crammed into the backseat of a taxi, Yugyeom crushed by the side as Jackson and Mark decided it was appropriate to make out beside him. Fucking _make out_. 

They weren't even dating, and they were fucking _kissing_. Yugyeom tried to dismiss his self pitied thoughts in an attempt to ignore the horribly loud noises of his friends doing much more than 'being friends' right next to him. It was starting to really piss him off, it didn't even seem safe, they were practically on top of each other in a moving car. Yugyeom wondered if they got into a car crash, if they'd stop. He thought not, even bleeding and injured, he doubted they'd even notice, they were so involved in their display.

He wasn't digusted, no. It was just that, earlier that day they'd been holding hands, putting arms around each other, it felt like they were throwing it in his face then, but now it felt ten times worse. He looked out the window, feeling gloomy and blue as he gazed across the moving skyline as it passed quickly. The ride seemed far too long, he'd heard of people making out in taxis, but he never thought he'd witness it. He'd seen it in movies and tv, and the last people he expected to do it, was Mark and Jackson, self proclaimed straights. Heck, Jackson was even on the football team.

He tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about anything, just waited mindlessly until he found peace in the quiet of his own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm falling for markson again... they're not together... yet!
> 
> anyway, literally i thrive off feedback. i can't tell you how many times i've almost dropped this but comments really motivate me so don't be shy! tell me what you think! suggestions? great! anything! i'm a little awkward too don't worry haha
> 
> chapter updates should be back to weekly/bi-weekly pretty soon! thank you!


	5. closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> late slips. hickeys. football. coming out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a couple stitches and a concussion later, i'm back with another update.
> 
> just a short warning; there's a stupid sex joke surrounding yug's chatroom name and a bit of foul language.. also like half of this is just a long conversation between yug and youngjae so i'm sorry if it's lacking or hard to follow!

After the utter _hell_ Yugyeom was put through the night before, with Mark and Jackson's rude display of affection, he was more than happy when he finally returned home. At home he wasn't being poked and prodded about his sexuality, or his stupid little crush, or anything. He was just, at home, quite literally.

Yugyeom spent the night like he always did, watching reruns of Weekly Idol, texting friends and probably staying up way later than he should have been. But he was used to it, and it didn't seem like he could screw up his sleep schedule even more than he already had.

Late into the night, Yugyeom decided it was for the best to finally sleep. Or try to cram a little sleep into the few hours that were left before sunrise. The sleep he got was okay, not the best he's ever had but given that he'd been awake for almost 20 hours, he fared pretty well.

What had not gone pretty well, was the next day of school.

Yugyeom got off to school as he normally did; tired, but thankful he'd even woken up. It was Wednesday, meaning most kids would be at school. Wednesday was a pretty useless day to skip, so he was fit for the loud, and as usual, plentiful crowds of the schoolyard. Passing that lot, Yugyeom used the side entrance, which smelled of smoke and bad decisions. It wasn't the most pleasant way to enter the school but he didn't mind, as long as he made it to class on time.

That morning he had literacy, one of the lucky classes he had with Kunpimook. He was okay with it, not perfect, but his grades were good enough. Kunpimook on the other hand wasn't as fortunate, but Yugyeom tried to help when he could. He was like a tutor of sorts, even if Kunpimook didn't want to admit it.

Yugyeom took his regular seat, to the side at the back. The desk was definatly his, littered with scratches and doodles, and certainly no absence of _Y + K <3_ carved into the face. No one had noticed, no one really cared anyway, except Yugyeom of course.

He waited patiently for class to start, for Kunpimook to show up. Music continued to blast from his headphones, he tapped nervously to the base, a dancer's habit he assumed. It took five entire minutes before Yugyeom noticed that Kunpimook had still not arrived. It was concerning that the boy hadn't got to school get, Kunpimook didn't have the best attendance but he was getting better, and he certainly would have texted Yugyeom if he knew he wasn't going to be at school.

Yugyeom checked his texts quickly. He scrolled through his conversations, looking for the one with Kunpimook, which was generally just memes and a lot of capitalized screaming. But as Yugyeom expected, nothing. Not one message from the elder. It was disappointing for Yugyeom, he had faith in Kunpimook to show up, he had every day this week so far, and he knew Kunpimook wouldn't break his two-day streak this early.

Yugyeom shot him a message just in case.

**yugcum** : you coming to school today??

He put his phone back down on the desk, hoping that Kunpimook would reply before class started. More and more students arrived and took their seats. It made Yugyeom feel a bit anxious if he was being honest, but he hadn't lost all hope in Kunpimook just yet.

Yugyeom’s phone buzzed loudly, his text tone for Kunpimook ringing through his headphones as he reached for the device. Turning on the screen, Yugyeom quickly read the message.

kunpiSHOOK: yeah i'll be there soon dw

**yugcum** : class begins in two minutes you douchecanoe now get ur butt to school

kunpiSHOOK: calm ur tits im coming

Yugyeom shook his head, placing his phone back down on the desk, he turned down his music and proceeded to take his textbook and a couple pens out of his bag. He slid further into his seat and rapidly checked the clock as the lest 120 seconds of pre-class time ticked away. Yugyeom looked around, there were only three empty desks, one of them being Kunpimook's.

Yugyeom was starting to lose hope, but it wasn't a huge deal anyway, so he tried not to think about it as the final second passed and the bell rang. He sorted his papers on his desk as the teacher entered the room. Yugyeom resorted his attention to the front board where their lesson plan was laid out. He had Kunpimook's word, he expected Mook would arrive soon, he tried to stay optimistic.

/////

Yugyeom had a habit of only thinking about the worst possible scenario. It was a bad habit but it was one he always had. It seemed wrong not to expect the worst, so that's what he did, healthy or not.

So the thoughts passing through Yugyeom's mind at roughly five minutes into class were _I'm never gonna see him again. He's gone, he's dead, he was kidnapped on his way to school. My best friend is gone. I'm gonna live a life of solitude and never speak to anyone ever again._ It wasn't the smartest way to think, but Yugyeom was quickly shocked out of his haze as the classroom door swung open.

At the door, stood a very flustered looking Kunpimook. He had his backpack slung over one arm, textbooks held in the other. His hair was a mess to say the least, all frizzy and tangled, strands sticking out oddly, like someone had ran their hands through it. His clothes weren't much better, not that his outfit was bad... it was just really, really confusing as to why Kunpimook would be wearing a thick scarf in one of the hottest months of the year.

Kunpimook himself was a bit on edge, bumping desks and nearly tripping as he made his way to his seat, attracting the attention of the teacher.

"Mr. Bhuwakul," The teacher started, "Do you have a late slip?"

Kunpimook looked stunned almost, he dug around in his pockets before finding a crumpled slip of paper, he ran up to the teacher, handing him the small scroll, bowing and returning to his seat. It seemed as though he was going to apologize, or say a few words of endearment. But nothing came out of the boy's mouth but awkward peeps and whimpers as the entire class watched the situation unfold.

Kunpimook still appeared uneasy, messy, unorganized, whatever you wanted to call it. He certainly didn't seem like himself. Yugyeom wasn't born yesterday, he caught onto Kunpimook's charade nearly the moment he had entered the classroom. To prove his little hypothesis, Yugyeom kept a steady eye on Kunpimook while he unpacked the contents of his backpack onto the floor next to his desk, interrupting class further.

Yugyeom watched as Kunpimook made a ruckus and whatnot, finding his workbook and a pen in time. The thing Yugyeom was waiting for came quickly, Kunpimook adjusted his scarf, probably overheating in the humid environment of the classroom. Finally, Yugyeom was reassured when Kunpimook unknowingly flashed his neck.

Yugyeom tried to fight back a gasp as Kunpimook did indeed appear to have an obvious amount of hickeys littering his tanned skin, hidden by his scarf. It made Yugyeom a bit sad honestly. The fact that they were probably from a girl. Not that Kunpimook being with a guy was even in the question anyway. But in the end, it was still disheartening, for Yugyeom to see his admitted crush to have hickeys from someone who was certainly not him. That is, unless Yugyeom made out with Kunpimook since the last time they saw each other... and didn't remember a second of it.

It was stupid, as it usually was, for Yugyeom to think he and Kunpimook were anything but friends. Or that they'd ever be more. But Yugyeom tried not to think about it.

 

It wasn't ten minutes later when Yugyeom felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned quickly to see Kunpimook standing above him, pencil in hand, and a smile across his face. Yugyeom took an earbud out from his ear and nodded, allowing Kunpimook to ask whatever he came to say.

"Hey, so do you still have that pencil sharpener? Because I know Jinyoung took it last week and I think Jackson stole it from him... and Mark told be that he gave it back to you and... just... do you have the sharpener and can I use it?" Kunpimook rambled on, explaining the problem in one breath.

Yugyeom turned away, looking into his bag for the sharpener he knew Kunpimook was asking for. He searched for a bit before finally grasping the contraption. His grip quickly loosened as he looked back up at Kunpimook with a dead expression.

"Actually," He started, his voice oddly monotone, "Mark must be lying because I don't have it"

"Oh.." Kunpimook looked around, beginning to feel annoyed by Yugyeom's attitude.

Yugyeom wasn't always a jerk, but dammit he was mad at Kunpimook! Even if they weren't a couple, getting hickeys would be the kind of thing friends would talk about. It hurt that Kunpimook hadn't even sent him a simple text about it, that he was hiding it and acting like no one knew. It fueled a pointless rage in Yugyeom, giving him an anger he knew would only last for an hour or two. He could never stay mad at Kunpimook for long.

"Well..." Yugyeom put his earbud back in, "If that's all, I'm kinda trying to work, and I recommend you do too if you plan on passing"

Kunpimook looked back at him, "What's with you today? You're so moody!"

"I'm just trying to work. Leave if all you're gonna do is annoy me!"

"Whatever," Kunpimook snapped, "Someone's at their time of the month.."

"What did you say?" Yugyeom lashed out, standing up.

"I said you're being a bitch today, if you don't want to talk to me, just say it!" Kunpimook squared up to Yugyeom, pulling a menacing face despite his height.

"Language, Kunpimook!" A chime from their teacher interrupted the confrontation.

Kunpimook glared at Yugyeom, the dancer pulling the same angry expression. He looked back towards his desk, spinning on the heels of his sneakers and practically stomping back to the other side of the classroom. Yugyeom fell back into his own seat, only half believing that had just happened. How could he let himself lash out like that? He knew Kunpimook would only be mad at him for a few hours, and that they'd probably make up by the end of the day. But through that all, an uneasy feeling filled him as he once again tried to ignore it. It was just stupid teenage hormones... or whatever... he didn't care.

/////

Yugyeom had to suffer through two more periods before lunch hour had finally arrived. It wasn't anything special, he was just glad to be out of class, and into his own time. He would be lying if he said he still wasn't a bit mad at Kunpimook. Everything just seemed so bottled up, like he needed to let it go all at once, or at least admit it to someone. And Yugyeom thought he knew just the person. The person he could trust with anything. The man of the hour; Choi Youngjae.

Youngjae was sweet, and pure, and cute at times. He held together the "Got7 Friend Group" like glue. He was their counsellor, their therapist, the voice they had in times of doubt.. which was usually just Jackson complaining about the most insignificant things. Nonetheless, and most importantly, he was trustworthy, and if Yugyeom was going to spill the gay beans to anyone, it was going to be Youngjae.

Behind the bleachers was where Youngjae always sat at lunch. It was where most of their friends sat at lunch, but today there were too many extracurriculars going on for anyone but Youngjae to be sat in the calming shade by the football field. He seemed to be watching football practice, cheering on Jackson and JB before Yugyeom so very rudely interrupted him.

"Jae! Do you mind if it sit?" Yugyeom was nursing a soda cup, probably filled with lemonade as he asked Youngjae the question.

Youngjae quickly turned around, smiling, "Ah yes Yug, it's fine, c'mon sit"

"Thanks bud," Yugyeom took a seat next to Youngjae on the grass. He set his backpack down on the ground next to them.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, just avoiding Kunpimook I guess.." Yugyeom rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, bringing up the subject.

Youngjae squealed, "Oh drama, I love it, what happened?"

"It's not _drama_ " Yugyeom laughed, "He hasn't been telling me about important stuff. Like stuff he should be telling me, I am his best friend after all"

"What stuff.. if it's not too much to ask..?"

"I dunno, Jae, he's just hiding stuff from me, from all of us" Yugyeom dodged the question.

Youngjae rolled his eyes, "What stuff! I can't help you if you're not gonna tell me the whole truth"

"Fine, fine" Yugyeom nodded, "I think he has a girlfriend.."

"Oh my god Yug!! How do you know?!" Youngjae covered his mouth, eye's in crescents as he squealed again.

"Ugh stop it! Does it matter anyway?"

"Uh yes it does! How am I gonna know you're not just making this up?" Youngjae crossed his arms in front of himself.

Yugyeom shrugged, "He has... has.. oh my god.. he.." though he ended up a stuttering wreck.

"He has what?? Yugyeom! What does he have?!"

"He has," Yugyeom leaned in close to Youngjae, lowering his voice, "..hickeys on his neck, and god knows where else.."

"Oh my... oh my god Yug! Little Mook's growing up, aww how cute!" Youngjae clasped his hands, rocking back and forth.

"But he didn't tell any of us! Not even me! Does he not trust us or something? Doesn't it bother you that he's keeping it from us?"

Youngjae looked back out to the football field, "No not really, why do you care so much anyway?"

"I don't... it's stupid, nevermind.." Yugyeom took along sip of his lemonade.

"Wait... I know what's going on here.." Youngjae turned back to Yugyeom.

"What? No you don't!" Yugyeom panicked, "You have no clue what's going on"

Youngjae clicked his tongue a bit, nodding with a knowing look, "I think I do, and if you wanna come clean, you should tell me yourself.."

"No! What.. you don't even know what I'm talking about.."

"C'mon Yug, I know you're only acting like this because Kunpimook beat you at that race car game yesterday. Don't think I can't see through your lies" Youngjae thought he had it all figured out, luckily he didn't and it was a relief to Yugyeom that he actually didn't know about his oh-so-embarassing crush.

"Youngjae, sweet boy, that's not why I'm mad about Kunpimook," Yugyeom placed his hand on Youngjae's shoulder.

"Then why are you mad at him?!"

Yugyeom leaned in close to his friend, lowering his voice again, "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Yeah... your secret's safe with me.." Youngjae sounded confused.

"I uh.. I kinda.." Yugyeom was almost whispering by now, "...have a.. crush on him.."

"Very funny, Yugyeom. Actually, why are you mad at him?"

"I'm not joking!" Yugyeom hit Youngjae lightly, more mad at Youngjae now than he was at Kunpimook.

A look of shock passed over Youngjae, he looked as though he'd seen a ghost, or worse. He shook his head gently, almost not believing what Yugyeom was implying, "So you're saying that what Jackson is always talking about is true? That you really like him? Like a real crush?"

"Would I joke about something this.. embarrassing?" Yugyeom looked away.

"So you.. you actually like him? Like _like_ like him?"

"If that makes you uncomfortable I'm sorry," Yugyeom made a move to leave, half regretting telling Youngjae in the first, "I should go.."

"No, no, Yug come back," Youngjae reached for Yugyeom's wrist, pulling him back down to the ground, "It's okay, I'm not uncomfortable, shocked is more like it"

Yugyeom nodded, understanding where Youngjae was coming from. He was glad Youngjae was accepting so far.

"So you're like.. gay?" Youngjae was at a whisper, keeping Yugyeom's secret safe as he promised.

"No.. well kinda.."

"Kinda?" 

"I'm pan, short for pansexual," Yugyeom rushed through his next sentence before Youngjae could make a cookware pun, "It means I'm attracted to all genders, I don't really care that much about how a person talks, dresses, or whatever else defines gender.. I just like people, for themselves"

Youngjae tried to wrap his head around the idea, "So you're like, bisexual?"

"I guess, yeah, I just prefer the label pan.."

"Have you told anyone else?" Youngjae was a little more calm now.

"No," Yugyeom started, "Only you, but Jackson and Mark probably think I'm gay anyway.."

"Do you plan on telling anyone else?"

"I mean, no probably not" Yugyeom had thought about coming out before, but it still seemed way too far out of the question. Maybe by university he would. Maybe he'd exchange overseas, and end up in a place with a much more accepting society.

"You're gonna stay in the closet forever? You're not even going to tell Kunpimook? Like ever?" Youngjae seemed a bit sad, what Yugyeom was insinuating was nearly heartbreaking.

Yugyeom scanned the field, Kunpimook was sitting with some kids from his science class. Yugyeom watched him laugh, like he was having so much fun on his own, "I dunno man, I don't know if he's homophobic or whatever"

"Well your secret's safe with me, whatever you plan on doing, I got your back"

"Thanks, Jae" Yugyeom cracked a smile.

The conversation went dead, the silence was calm though. Both boys looked back to the field, watching Jackson repeatedly slam JB to the ground. Yugyeom wasn't an expert but he was pretty sure that's not how you play football. But they looked like they were enjoying themselves so that's all that mattered right then.

The wind was light, but cool, bringing relief to the shadowed students. It was certainly a beautiful day.

"Wait," Youngjae spoke up again, "So if you're still mad at Kunpimook.. and y'know.. are you still going with the rest of us to his place after school?"

"I guess I'll drop by, we probably won't even be mad by the end of the day anyway" Yugyeom explained.

"You sure?"

"Yeah it's fine" The dancer nodded his head again, reassuringly.

Youngjae grabbed his backpack, zipping it up before saying, "Well if that's all, I should get back to my locker. I have history, then math, so I guess I'll see you at Mook's after school.."

"See you~" Yugyeom waved as Youngjae made his was across the field and towards the main building of the school.

Yugyeom huffed to himself, exhaling as if it would expel his anxiety. Heck, he'd just come out, for the first time ever, and possibly the last. It was scary for him to think that he might live all, if not most of his life in the closet. But sometimes life was horrible and he just had to deal with that. He had a lovely family and a lovely group of friends, so he couldn't wish for _everything_ to go his way.

Yugyeom thought over every word of the conversation. Choruses of _in the closet forever?_ circling his mind. Over and over again, he couldn't get the words out of his head. No matter how hard he tried, Youngjae's question wouldn't stop repeating. He didn't want to stay in the closet forever, but right now it wasn't a choice he had really. It was friends over sexuality for the time being, and Yugyeom didn't really expect that to change very soon, ever maybe.

It was both relieving at startling to know that Youngjae now held the key to his happiness. But he trusted Youngjae, he had to. It wasn't a huge deal, and Yugyeom tried not to overthink it. But it was a real struggle to live practically a double life. When he was alone, he had his thoughts, he had his daydreams, and fantasies of a life much more extravagant. But when he was with anyone else, he was straight. Straight and a liar.

But maybe, one day, he would live his truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took forever but i'm glad it's finally out! i might have another update before monday if everything goes well!
> 
> comments or asks on my tumblr (@sweaterpawslogan) are super cool to see, so slide me a comment if that's your thing!


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